To:       State and Federal Legislators

From:   The Catholic Bishops of Missouri

Re:       Marriage and Same Sex Unions

Date:    December 17, 2003

In light of recent developments calling into question the traditional meaning of marriage, including the ruling by the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts that homosexuals have the right to marry under that state’s constitution, we write to share our thoughts on why continuing to define marriage as a commitment between a man and a woman is essential to the common good.

Throughout history and in many different cultures, marriage has been understood as the institution created by God for the lifelong commitment between a man and a woman. As a part of God’s plan, men and women are drawn intimately together in marriage to create new human life: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife and they become one flesh.” (Gn. 2:24). In marriage the man and the woman complement each other naturally and God blesses them and commands them to “be fruitful and multiply.” (Gn. 1:28)

From a civil point of view, the institution of marriage is essential to civilized society. It protects women by requiring men to share the responsibility of raising children. It protects children by requiring parental commitment from both parents. Without marriage men can father children and then abandon mother and child.  Marriage provides a powerful legal support for responsible sexual behavior and responsible parenting.  It also provides legal recourse that helps to protect women and children from irresponsible behavior by men.  For centuries civilizations have understood this fact.

At present, the institutions of marriage and family are under tremendous strain. High divorce rates leave increasing numbers of children living with only one parent. Left in the wake of these family break-ups are increasing numbers of women living in poverty and children with emotional scars that can last for years. The response to this crisis is not to redefine marriage but to strengthen its traditional purpose so that men and women will make and keep lifelong commitments to each other and to their children.

How we define marriage matters because laws have a teaching function. Over time laws affect people’s attitudes and behavior. If our laws redefine marriage to include same sex unions, then marriage simply becomes a menu for choosing a variety of relationships. If that is all marriage is, then there is no reason why polygamy and other relationships cannot be added along with same sex unions to the banner of “marriage.” Under an ever-widening definition, marriage will no longer be a powerful legal support for responsible sexual behavior and parenting.  Indeed it will give societal and cultural approval to practices that do just the opposite. Our laws can uphold traditional marriage or they can attempt to validate a variety of sexual relationships, but they cannot do both.   

At some point in the future, if we redefine traditional marriage out of existence, it is foreseeable that someone will suggest that we should have a special institution that will encourage faithful monogamous relationships between men and women. It will be suggested that such an institution would empower women and protect children. Then it may be said, “well, we had such an institution and it was called marriage.”

What is at stake in this debate is the very underpinning of our society - families. Undermining traditional marriage will lead to the disintegration of stable families. Without strong families, founded on marriage, our social service and child welfare agencies would be overwhelmed and poverty would be an even greater problem than it already is. Without strong families our society would lose its most basic community – the community upon which all other communities are built. Families represent a support network that members turn to for assistance: parents helping children, children helping elderly parents. No government program or agency can ever replace strong and loving families. We therefore abandon the institutions of marriage and family at our peril. Indeed, history presents numerous examples of the deleterious effect upon societies when marriage and family structure are eroded.

Some argue that denying legal recognition to same sex unions constitutes discrimination. Discrimination occurs when individuals are differentiated unjustly. There is no injustice, however, in preserving marriage for marital relationships instead of extending its benefits to other non-marital forms of relationships. Indeed, redefining marriage would constitute a grave injustice, especially to women and children who depend upon the institution of marriage to secure faithful commitments from fathers in assuming their family responsibilities. 

Redefining marriage also would be an injustice to religious institutions, such as Catholic hospitals, schools and charities, which would be asked to violate their conscience by recognizing same sex unions and other forms of co-habitation in their employment practices. In line with Catholic moral teaching, these institutions could not in good conscience do so. 

Our laws can and should address the human rights of all persons, including those with homosexual inclinations, while also preserving traditional marriage. Current law, for example, permits individuals who are not married to jointly own property and to choose the beneficiary of their will. There may be other legal protections that can be considered and enacted. The Catechism of the Catholic Church recognizes that individuals may have homosexual inclinations, and insists that “They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.” (par. 2358)

We hope that this letter and the accompanying information will help you better understand why the Church considers it vital for the State to uphold the traditional understanding of marriage. Do not hesitate to contact the staff of the Missouri Catholic Conference for further information or to discuss your concerns on these issues. Please know that you are in our prayers as you seek to serve the citizens of Missouri.

"Between Man and Woman:  Questions and Answers About Marriage and Same-Sex Unions”, Issued by United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, November 12, 2003